Tears

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

Painful thoughts, injected into the very core of being
interpolated objects seemingly subjugated into the weaving
Eyes bloated and blotted, allotted certain time for depression
within their own regression they find the purpose of their suppression
Teetering on the edge of sanity through moral oppression
only to find that faith really is the most supreme weapon
Finding it hard at times, when the times are hard
as though you're grasping at straws and trapped while off guard
Affecting my very being, time given no longer allowed
distance makes for distance and again lost within the crowd
Back-burnered, put aside and presently forgotten
so misery allowed to amass, and turn sour .. rotten
Degraded, regarded as another in yet a chain of remorse
painful thoughts drudged up and set themselves a course ..
to the epicenter, the omphalos of the struggled
a bundle of negativity that needs to be cast aside, not juggled
So there go the tears, at the despondency of being unable to speak
withering away inside, as the inability to reconcile peaks
At the spire, I aspire to do so many voluminous things
but I feel limited, like I'm stuck inside this ring
This thing, is a self-imposed barrier I'm sure
yet even though I know it, outside of it I can't explore
I'm watching as the waves break, crashing against the bow of my boat
just waiting for the big one to make me subside, knowing I won't float
I feel like I'm being cheated on, that life is favoring another
like the cold feel when you realize that they are no longer your lover
Again it's in my mind, and I know I need to turn to the Lord
but at times I get lost, and fall hopelessly in my own discord
Eyes bulging with the want, heart burning with the desire
inflamed with the love that he deserves, so I aspire ..
To be greater, my life is more than just for me
but sometimes I forget that and lose sight of the we
I know I'm destined for greatness, and this isn't me being cocky
it's more like I feel a calling, and I'm listening for the spot to see
Is it coming from here, or that door over there
at the present moment, all can I do is sit and stare
I wish for this, and then I'll wish for that
I wish for things when I shouldn't, and put faith in his fact
No words can explain this chill I feel at times, or why it exists
it makes me feel dead to the world, and it really persists
When I was younger I believed that I would do so many deeds
those of whose greatness not many could supersede
So now I plead, and I ask you for your joys
this is filled with so many I's, like the prayers of a little boy
But I can't help but feel alone at times, like I'm trapped in my room
like I mentioned in a previous poem, and I'm surrounded by gloom
Many others have done the things that I am about to do
until experienced for one-self though, it's always going to be new
I need to let go, and not stress so much in life
a lesson I guess I should learn from the teachings of my wife
Just coming from my past, to fully let go is just so hard
it's like expecting an ant to pull an airliner for yards
I'm trying my best, but it's just taking so much time
that it puts others down around me, and makes me seem out of line
I'm just asking for understanding, to walk by my side no matter what
because of incidents in past I have the tendency to be considerably shut
Now, within relation .. to my present status quo
the balance of faith needs to categorically exponentially grow
I know, I know .. please believe me .. I know
I'm growing, believe me, it's just going type slow
So with tears in my eyes, I type these idioms in disdain
pleading for forgiveness .. I need an umbrella for this rain